#magicwords
I’m in a battle with what I think.
In a battle with what I know.
Dreamt so much of the grass being greener,
But the grassland turned to be so blue.
Been watering so many things to growth.
However they turned out to be the rope around my throat,
Knives on my back, an abyss of my thoughts.
They say don’t bite the hand that feeds you,
But they ate the whole damn arm.
As i stare, I wish you dare!
Claim i’m not fair, in your despair.
For all that i’ve shared, all that i’ve had to bear.
For you to not be there for me, it’s just unfair.
Emotion less! option less!
You view me less n less,
Everyday nevertheless.
There goes the memories, moments and excitement,
I used to feel when you were my best friend.
Now I feel the loss, I was all in all alone.
Loneliness to be my new home but No!
I’m my own excitement and commitment.
T’was a good run but was not an entertaining race.
My eyes struck yours,
Just fast enough to notice.
You’ve been staring at me,
Like you wanna devour me .
We play this game –
A reckless, wordless dare.
Where no one moves,
But everything shifts
Your smile is a ripple effect,
Just bright enough to make the sun seem dull .
It gives goosebumps strong enough,
To heal an aching heart.
Your body is a work of art.
That I wanna claim not tame.
My most prized possession.
My secret masterpiece.
We always give each other –
A little more to linger and wonder that;
We’re lost in the gaze of each other’s eyes.
But can never lose sight of the echo between us.
I’m lost,in my head, no direction.
Living hopelessly with no aspirations.
My heart has a lump of no clarification.
My pen dried out with no inspiration.
I feel a void that nothing can fill.
A hunger no food can satiate.
A thirst that no amount of water can quench.
A wound that no amount of time can heal.
In an abyss my hand stretches to reach,
For everything meant for me.
I’m a rabbit in a hole I didn’t dig.
I keep on crying for help, someone please hear my plea.
In a dilemma nowhere to go from here.
It all feels like I’m knocking on heaven’s door.
One knock away to my freedom but with my words comes wisdom.
To challenge every decision with precision.
Give me a pen and paper,
My canvas and paint,
My art work,my pain.
Give me a pen and paper,
I’ll write about my shame,
So beautifully it can’t be erased.
Give me a pen and paper,
I’ll narrate my tales,
So profoundly y’all will relate.
Give me a pen and paper,
I’ll try and educate,
So elaborate y’all will appreciate.
Give me a pen and paper,
I’ll leave you beguiled,
So irresistible you can’t deny.
Give me a pen and paper,
I’ll leave you in tears,
Through my words that pierce.
Give me a pen and paper,
I’ll tell you about a girl,
Who’s dream is to write her heart.
From the debris that’s left, seems like my life took a turn to the left.
All that’s left is so chaotic and full of messy memories,
So many broken pieces that can’t be whole no more .
When it breaks it shatters, nothing was left to chance.
It was a gamble all along and you held my hand for too long.
I didn’t hold the best cards, I was dealt a bad hand.
Trying to collect the pieces of a broken glass.
Deep cuts is the price you pay for having a caring heart.
Let me bleed coz I have the scars to back me up.
Turning your back on the one that’s been your frontliner,
Its just a stab in the back, one I thought would never come.
For I found you on your back, also trying to figure it out.
Tried to discard the broken parts of me, thinking it will restore parts you took from me.
Grieving all that was snatched from me made me realize I control the best parts of me. Well that’s all I needed for me to heal.
As the sun, I will rise up and shine. So yellow I will be full of mellow.
Who knew being vulnerable, would leave so much rubble!
Silence is loud, silence is chaotic.
Silence screams, silence is still!
Shush hush it goes,the sound of loneliness.
Silence isn’t a safe space, it’s a safe death.
Silence is painful, silence is jealous,
It robs us of peace, robs us of connection.
Silence is shameful, deceitful,
It robs us our confidence our truth!
Silence drowns us, it enables our sorrows.
It’s a pathway to an ally of our darkest emotions.
A runway for a plane of our worst demons,
In the closet, is the darkness of our silence.
Silence yields regret, yields chagrin.
Silence brings disruption; collision.
Silence is an abyss, silence is deadly.
Silence is terminal, silence kills!
How does this end? With tears most probably.
All the nights we’ve cried ourselves to sleep.
All the screams in the depth of our souls.
All the ache that shatter our hearts to pieces.
How does it end!
With a little bit of laughter?
All the joy that the littlest of things bring.
All the happiness we share with loved ones.
All the smiles we put on people’s faces and them on ours.
How does it end!
With a massive room for growth and learning.
With all the grace to unlearn and relearn.
With a pure heart to welcome kindness.
With vigilance to prevent all that comes with hurt.
With adversity to embrace all that life has to give.
How does it end? With me being proud of an year well lived.
She wears her heart on her sleeves,
She is one to cry when watching movies.
She is confident yet so fragile.
She is strong yet so weak.
Her absence is felt.
Her smile is bright.
Her laughter contagious.
Her character ambitious.
She is everything, she is a powerhouse, she reigns!
Adversity is a bitter pill to swallow,
But it’s a tool we must borrow
If we wanna know growth, we yearn to sprout.
Like a flower that blossoms through drought.
Mama we made it, is all we wanna say.
However it comes out as “mama please save me!”
We win, we learn, but nobody speaks of the miles we run.
The hardwork so as to earn, what we think we deserve!
The depression state at 3! Loneliness that hits.
Like a bleeding heart through spring,
Sadness and heartbreak it may seem,
But evolution and rebirth is all I choose to see.
Everything is shedding, the mask is peeling.
The true you is unveiling, more revealing.
The coalesce of childhood and adulthood is beginning.
The utopia seems to be uncanning.
All that’s left is the euphoria of hoping.
All of you becomes so potently exposed.
Amidst the charades you’re reformed.
Renaissance is breathed in you, you’re full of purpose.
A new you is discovered, You’re Grown, You’re Reborn!
Let your hands find success in your hard work .
Let your eyes glaze at the growth of your empire.
Let your feet endure the steps to greater heights.
Let your ears heed to the voice of reason.
And let not the ocean look smaller in your eyes.
And let not your problems look bigger than the mountains.
And let not your heart grow weary of kindness.
And let not your soul be consumed by hatred.
Wanja's Poetry